I got pooped on

Original post: May 2008

Literally.

Picture it. Saturday morning. Sun is out. Birds are chirping. Perfect day to put the top down on the convertible.

Life is gooooood.

I had a "coffee date" with a promising young lad Saturday am (well, the promise went away after we met, but that's a different story).

After said date, I was driving to a friends house downtown. I pulled into my friend's driveway and all of a sudden I feel something drop onto the middle of my shirt. It's a yellow mustard color.

My first thought was..."What the damn hell is this?"

I look on the hood of my car and realize that I have probably have the remnants of a good ol' fashioned bird poop. I say probably because I was not certain until I....yes...wait for it....took a whiff of my shirt.

EWWWWW....let me confirm for you that are wondering: bird poop smells like poop. I'm not sure why I was even questioning that. You can see the trail on the hood of my red car. The biggest part of it...you've seen it...the white with black specs...on the front. Then another droplet in front of the wiper blade and the finale on my shirt. Nice.

Of course this got me thinking. We have all heard the old addage that it's good luck when a bird poops on you. I did some research. There really is nothing to support this myth. Sure, there are folks on the internet that will tell you they got pooped on and then won $$ at the casino, etc, but seriously?

Then I stumbled upon a nugget. It seems the amount of luck present in any particular poop is directly influenced by the type of bird doing the pooping.

A. The Raven

The Raven is generally considered good luck because of its high intelligence. The larger the quantity of Ravens that poop on you at one time, the larger the amount of your luck. If a person gets pooped on by Seven Ravens or more, that person should be jumping up and down in glee...a great day! Getting pooped on by only one Raven, on the other hand, is not so lucky. This is all apparent in the following Folklore Rhyme:"One Raven for sorrow, Two for joy, Three Ravens for a girl, Four for a boy, Five Ravens for silver, Six for gold, Seven Ravens for a secret never to be told."Another variation of this rhyme continues past Seven: "Eight for a Wish, Nine for a Kiss, Ten for a Time, of Joyous Bliss"The Raven's good luck image comes partly from it's association with Heaven. Looking Ahead Under "Riddled Avians", It Says "Heaven Offers Truth". In Beowulf, the Raven is proclaimed as having communication with the Heavens: "They slept until the black raven, the blithe hearted proclaimed the joy of heaven."On the other hand, seeing a Raven isn't always considered good luck. It really all depends on the circumstances. As any person may correctly assume, seeing a bird suddenly fall dead from mid-air is a very ominous sign. This is especially true when it concerns the Raven. In Babylon, in 323 AD, it is said that as soon as Alexander the Great stepped foot into the city, a flock of Ravens fell dead from the sky. A few weeks later, Alexander, predictably, was dead. Coincidence? I think not.But don't go hating the Raven for causing the death of Alexander the Great. These same Ravens were also the cause of prolonging his life! It is said that Alexander was guided through a desert by two Ravens sent from Heaven.

B. The Owl

Despite the Owl's modern image of an astute and extremely wise creature, most myths associated with the Owl concern Evil tidings.But don't worry if an owl has pooped on your head. There are a few...granted, only a very few...myths that depict the owl in a positive light. In Greek Myth, the Owl is said to be a husband of the goddess of wisdom, Athena. Who wouldn't wanna be pooped on by Athena's man!?!

Perhaps the good luck here is that if pooped on by an Owl, you will get a Greek God for your spouse!!

Getting pooped on by a bird does not necessarily mean good luck. It's very important to look up and see what kind of bird has left you this present. A Raven or an Owl is more often than not a good sign.

If you get pooped on by a sparrow...it just means that you've been pooped on by a sparrow.

Needless to say, I was pooped on by a sparrow or other such bird.

After the pooping, I went into my friends house and tried my best to get it out of my formerly clean white shirt. Then I went about my day...I will NOT be deterred by some poop.

Plus, I was thankful that it was on my shirt and not on my head.

Morale of the story?

Sometimes you're gonna get pooped on. You just have to wipe it off the best you can and continue on.

Just like life.