3 Lessons From Mom that Managers Can Learn From

If there was a "Mom Playbook", I imagine that it would hold many similarities to a "Manager Playbook".  Out of that playbook, I've chosen three different lessons that we learn from the mothers out there.

1.  You wear many hats.

Growing up my mom had many duties.  Until we got to "chore" age, she handled all these duties by herself.  Even after we learned, I bet she had to go behind us and re-do some of the "work" we had done.   Well, probably just what my sister did, I'm sure I did everything right.  :-)  Mom was the cook, the maid, the chauffeur, teacher, bank teller, tailor, detective (you know it's true), disciplinarian....I could go on and on.   She wore all those hats seemingly effortlessly and while she has hung up the cook hat (for the most part---ha ha), in her home she is still the maid, does the laundry, and I still call on her incredible skills as a tailor.

In management, we do the same thing.  Often we have to change hats depending on what we are doing.   Sometimes we find ourselves wearing a coaches hat and calling the play.  That's the fun part of management...being IN the action with the team.  The other hats may not be as fun but are necessary.   My excel guru hat is battered from all the forecasting over the years in that tool.  There are days when you wear the therapist hat and listen to what is going on in the lives of your team member.  The detective hat comes on when we have to figure out how a deal (or employee) has gone awry.  Even when we get to put on the party hat with the team at the company holiday party, it's still important to keep in check so that it's not embarrassing to show up the next day.  Oh, you know what I'm talking about.  ;-)

2.  You teach independence.

From an appropriate age, Mom taught us to help out with chores.  To this day, I still load the dishwasher the same way that mom taught me to.  She taught independence by giving us chores in increasing levels of difficulty.  When I was old enough,  Mom encouraged work.  I started with babysitting, then was a lifeguard at the local pool and started waiting tables at 16 so that I could earn money.  She took the time early to teach that we could do things on our own, sending us the message that we had abilities and could make it.

A manager's goal is to do the same thing.  We want our employees to be able to excel!  Here are some things that we have to make sure they know to be independent on the job:  

   a.  Make sure they understand the tools needed to do the job.
   b.  Get them a mentor (either inside or outside the company) so they continue to grow.
   c.  Give them a safe environment to ask questions so they will not take on a 'victim' mentality.
   d.  Ensure they understand the consequences to non performance.
   e.  Make sure they know the progression path, even if there is not one!!
   f.  Meet on a regular basis to discuss how they are doing on their goals (work and personal!).
   g.  Don't forget to tell them what they are doing RIGHT as well as ways to improve.

This a starting point to getting independence from the team!!

3.  Sometimes you have to be the bad guy.

No one likes to deliver bad news.  While growing up, I was certain that my mother was the original Dr. No (not in the good James Bond way).  It was not until much later that I learned that Mom had to be the bad guy sometimes so that I wouldn't get into even more trouble than I did on my own.

"No, you can't stay out until 2 am"
"No, you can't wear that mini mini mini skirt"
"No, you can't beat on your sister"

All good lessons that I adhere to even today.

Every manager has had to deliver bad news.   Whether it's a reduction in benefits, layoffs, a termination or even a less than stellar review,  there are times when managers must be the bad guy.  Here are a few tips on how to be the bad guy in the best way possible:

   a.  Keep the message brief and direct.
   b.  Be respectful and don't sugar-coat.
   c.  Take ownership of the message...no blaming.
   d.  Don't be a coward...deliver the message face-to-face, not via email.
   e.  When appropriate, allow for a question and answer session.
   f.  Keep your own emotions in check...role play ahead of time to get wording down.


As this Mother's Day comes to close, take a few moments to reflect and be thankful for your Mother or the mother figures that you've had and have in your life.

First Day of Kindergarten and the Lessons for Managers

Last week my Goddaughter CarlyAnn started kindergarten.  I was so lucky to be able to be able to participate in the first day activities with the family!!

After seeing CarlyAnn get settled in class, we then went to the “Coffee and Kleenex” portion of the morning.   The school counselor had put together a fantastic packet of information for the parents. 

This is the first of a couple blogs that I’ll share with you.  It’s amazing to me that the same information that applies to children also applies to adults.  In keeping with that, it also amazes me how the information given to parents can also apply to management. 

This is taken from the National PTA.  You’ll see my notes on how this applies to managers after each number. 

Feel free to share this with your manager or start doing some of this if you currently manage a team.    :-)  Enjoy! 

Ten Ways to Participate in your Child’s Education

Ten Ways to Participate in your Employee’s Growth

1.    Build your child’s self esteem.  Listen to what they have to say and praise them for the things they do well.  

a.    Build your employee’s confidence in working with you.  Listen to what they have to say.  Reprimand in private and praise in public.   

2.    Encourage your children to talk about their feelings, accomplishments, and problems.

a.    Encourage your employee to have an active and direct conversation with you during 1:1 times or when appropriate.  Validate the feelings, cheer the accomplishments, and coach through the problems.

3.    Be a positive role model for your children. Teach them right from wrong at an early age.

a.    Be a positive role model for your employee.    Your example is being watched and will be followed.  Be honest, be direct, and be nice.

4.    Tell your children it’s all right to make mistakes, as long as they learn from them.

a.    Tell your employee it’s all right to make mistakes, as long as they learn from them.  Make sure you’ve shared what the repercussions would entail should errors continue.

5.    Allow your children to see you read daily newspapers, books, etc.  Read stories aloud and tell them about your culture and heritage.

a.    Keep up with what is going on in your industry and share with the team.  Teach the ones that don’t know the history of the industry how what they are doing fits in to the big picture.

6.    Show an interest in your children’s school activities by helping them with their homework and getting to know their teachers.
           a.    Show an interest in the daily work of your employees.  Understand what they go through on a daily basis.  Get to know the customers/peers/etc they interact with and offer to help when appropriate. 

7.    Take your children to museums, the local library, and other free educational and cultural events whenever possible.

a.    Allow employees to attend trade shows, seminars, and activities that will enhance the work experience.

8.    Ask that report cards and other school documents be made available in both English and Spanish.

a.    When your employees have to attend trainings or have new requirements that come out, make sure they are easy to comprehend and that you are readily available to help them understand the material.  Attempt to review the information ahead of time if available and alert the trainer or leader to any landmines that may exist (appropriately, of course). 

9.    Ask the school to provide a translator for meetings and whether English as a second language classes are available.

a.    Be a champion for your employees to grow professionally.  For example, if a public speaking course would enhance their professionalism, then make that happen.  Get to know what opportunities are out there for growth opportunities for your team.

10.                 Join the PTA or volunteer at your children’s school.

a.    Join local networking groups (and encourage your employees if appropriate) to keep up with the industry and others that manage teams.  Exchange information and seek out ideas that have worked for other managers. Volunteer and give back to the community. 

Next in the series:  What to Expect from a Kindergartner and how this applies to management.  

True Management Story---facebook (from Jan 2008)

TodayI have a special treat for you: a story from mymanagement chronicles circa 2008.

January, 2008

So, I was playing around on Facebook (yes, I know whatyou are thinking, but I'm really into it and evenGeorge (my dog) has a page, but that's a story for anotherday).

Note: names have been changed to protect the guilty. However, if you are on my regular email list, you have seen the real names. :-)

One of my friends on facebook is a girl that used towork for me. Let's call her Ann. Ann has a friend named Andy. Andy happens to be one of my current employees (this is KEY to the story).While updating a couple of photos, I think, "hmmm,let's see if I know any of Ann's friends." (I get that this tells volumes about what I don't have goingon in my own life right now).Well, lo and behold, I know Andy.

Here's the taglineon Andy's profile:"Andy is making it the best way he knows how. A new job is now the highlight of the year."

Of course, my immediate thought is "what the damnhell?" Which in turn then leads me to try to think ofthe best way to embarrass him. Because, I figure, hey, why should HE get all the fun??Note: this happened on a holiday so we were not in theoffice.

I send him an email with the subject line: "are youresigning?"Which promts my phone to almost immediately start ringing (figures).

I look at the caller id, let itring 2 more times, then answer."Hi Andy""Hi Kathy""So, you go my email?""yes (slight pause) who told you??"

(KC pauses for dramatic effect)"I saw it on facebook"

(dead silence)"WHAT? I thought my profile was private!"

"Awwww...aren't you cute, thinking anything on the internet is private" (my exact words)I won't bore you with the rest of the conversation,but rest assured, he was mortified that I found outvia facebook.

Moral of the story: Don't try to hide anything from KC, because I WILL find out.

Wait.

Moral of the story: Nothing is private on theinternet.

Hmmm.

Moral of the story: Don't go braggin' about your newjob til you tell your current boss.